Michael Jordan has often claimed that Larry Bird is one of the greatest trash-talkers of all time, naming him the best trash-talker in NBA history. Bird is the reason that so many great NBA trash-talking stories exist. His 13-year career saw him become a three-time NBA champion with the Boston Celtics, leading many fans to hail him as one of the best NBA players of all time.
His trash-talk worked because he backed it up. Bird would tell defenders where he was going to shoot, how he would shoot it and what the net would sound like, the do exactly that. Hardly any of it was caught on camera, so most of what we know comes from the unfortunate players who were on the receiving end.
10
“In the Trainer’s Lap”
Kevin McHale had set a Celtics record with 56 points nine days earlier, and Bird thought he should have kept on going. Against the Hawks in New Orleans in March 1985, Bird went for 60 and spent the fourth quarter telling Atlanta’s bench where each shot would come from. He announced a deep shot “in the trainer’s lap”, then got bumped by Rickey Brown and landed in trainer Joe O’Toole’s lap as it dropped. The basket didn’t count because a foul was called. Hawks coach Mike Fratello reportedly fined his own players for cheering Bird from the bench.
9
“Who’s Coming Second?”
The NBA staged its first Three-Point Contest at the 1986 All-Star Weekend in Dallas, Texas. Before the event, the eight shooters gathered in the Reunion Arena locker room for a meeting. Bird walked in last, looked around the room at the league’s best long-range shooters and reportedly asked, “man, who’s coming in second?” Sure enough, Bird went on to win the inaugural contest, before retaining the title by winning at the following two events in 1987 and 1988.
8
Mic’d Up at the All-Star game
The floor microphones at the 1986 All-Star Game caught Bird yelling, “oh, and one!” as he finished a left-handed hook over Hakeem Olajuwon. Later, open in the corner, he shouted “bam!” before burying a three over Hakeem’s late closeout. His stat line was 23 points, eight rebounds and seven steals.
7
“Saving the Right Hand”
This insult was the whole game. Bored at the end of a road trip, Bird reportedly said before tip-off that he would play the February 1986 game against the Portland Trail Blazers left-handed. He scored 47 points with 14 rebounds and 11 assists in a 120-119 overtime win, and 10 of his 21 field goals came with his left hand as he claimed he was “saving my right hand for the Lakers.” Just two days later, the Celtics beat the Lakers.
6
Two Seconds Too Many
In December 1986, with the game tied in the final seconds, Bird told Seattle Supersonics’ Xavier McDaniel he was getting the ball and showed him the spot he would shoot from. He hit it for a 104-102 win, the kind of shot that features in rankings of the most clutch players in NBA history, then apologised for being early, claiming that he “didn’t mean to leave two seconds on the clock”. McDaniel was a fearsome trash-talker himself and has told the story for decades.
5
Pump Fake Warning
Before the Celtics’ December 1989 game against the SuperSonics, Bird warned Shawn Kemp that it was going to be a rough night, reportedly saying, “I’m gonna pump-fake you, and your dumb a** is gonna go for it.” Despite the warning, the rookie still fell for the trap, as Bird went for 40 points, 11 rebounds and 10 assists. Afterwards, Bird wrote Kemp a letter saying nobody had ever guarded him that hard and invited him to work out together. Kemp said it meant everything.
4
“Merry Christmas”
Ahead of the December 1990 match-up between the Celtics and the Indiana Pacers, Chuck Person, known as ‘The Rifleman’, said that he was going Bird hunting. Bird told him he had a present for him. With Person on the bench, Bird let a three-pointer go in front of him and turned away, wishing his opponent a “merry f***ing Christmas” before it dropped in a 152-132 win.
3
“The End of the Bulls Bench”
Having won three of the four Three-Point Contests in which he competed, Bird stopped entering the competition, with Craig Hodges winning three back-to-back iterations from 1990 to 1992. When asked whether he could beat Bird, he said that Bird knew when to find him. He replied by saying, “yeah, at the end of the Bulls bench,” as he pointed out that Hodges barely played.
2
“Look Like ’84?”
Ahead of the 1992 Barcelona Olympics, the Dream Team warmed up by scrimmaging a squad of the best college players in America, including Wake Forest forward Rodney Rogers, who claimed that Bird hadn’t “hit a jumper since ’84.” At the next scrimmage, Magic Johnson, one of the NBA’s greats, fed Bird the ball possession after possession with Rogers guarding him. Bird called out each move before he made it and scored every time, before netting a jumper and turning to Rogers to say, “young fella, look like ’84, huh?”
1
“Told You So”
As Boston trailed the Phoenix Suns 101-100 in February 1983 with just a second on the clock, the Celtics needed something special to win the game. Bird walked past the Phoenix bench and told them he was “just fixing to bust a three on you guys and just go home.” After a timeout, Cedric Maxwell found Bird, whose 25-footer won it 103-101. It was Boston’s only three of the night, and Bird hit it in front of the Suns bench and shouted, “told you so.”
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